I see dharma talks as maintenance for staying thoughtful and aware, and always appreciate what Norman Fischer has to say in his talks. While addressing our human condition, we can always find relief and happiness.

In one of Norman Fischer’s more recent talks, he relates the following story. It’s powerful enough for me that I don’t have any words to add to it. I hope you enjoy:

This is your mind. You are human. A very powerful, disturbing condition to have to bear.

Anam Thubten tells a story in relation to his teacher Lama Tsurlo, who he says was a very gentle and kind person. Anam always wanted to spend time with him. At the same time, he was really scared.

Anam said, “It didn’t make sense for me to be scared of Lama Tsurlo, he was so sweet and kind. He was never mean or abusive to me in any way. How come I’m so scared of him?”

Anam finally saw that the reason he was so scared was this: He imagined Lama Tsurlo was so wise and so enlightened, that he would see right through him. He would be able to see into his mind and see what a mass of confusion and afflictive emotions he actually was inside. Even though, on the outside, he was very nice and looked good.

That’s why he was afraid of his teacher. “It was the sort of fear,” Anam says, “when a very important person is coming over to your house to visit, and your house is a total mess. You want the person to come, but you’re frightened. You don’t want them to see how you live, so messy and everything.”

Ultimately, Anam realized that the reason he was afraid of his Lama was that he was afraid of his own mind. He was afraid to face all the fear and all the anger he had inside himself. He thought he was doing a good job of hiding it from everyone, including himself. But Lama Tsurlo would know it’s there.

Probably, it’s true that the Lama would be able to see through Anam’s mess, through the smooth exterior. But not because the Lama was an enlightened mind-reader.

When you are accepting of your own mess, you are willing to accept it in others. You have some basic intuition and can see how other people are also a mess. You understand that they are just like you.